Dear little man in my belly

My Dearest Son -

It's crazy to think I'll have a son, or do already rather, but you'll be in my arms in about a month. I'm sorry I haven't taken more pictures of my big belly with you growing inside like I did Clara. I get home from work, get into something comfy, play with your sister and by the time daddy gets home I'm so disheveled I can't imagine standing in front of a camera, selfish I know! Don't think that means you get less attention though. Clara climbs ALL over you and you kick her right back. She knows "brother" is in my belly although I think you'll still be quite a shock to her. ;) I talk to you all the time, you're so active, all day. I sing to you on the way to work, Clara and I sing songs to you, and I'm always telling you how happy I am to have you so close to me all day. Having you in my arms will be wonderful but having you inside me is a great comfort and I love knowing you're always there.

You really like skittles, when I eat them at work (I got them for my students but indulge some myself) you go crazy and my students can see you moving in my belly. Most of them find it fascinating and some get grossed out. Everyone touches you all the time, my belly is as hard as a rock. You give me some quick kicks to the ribs that take my breath away while I'm teaching, all my kids know when it happens. Everyone wants to know your name, so do I. We've not yet decided. Maybe when I meet you I'll know.

Daddy and I are planning out your first few months in our room and how we'll rearrange our bedroom to have you close. I'll never feel like we're prepared enough but at least I know kind of what to expect this time, that's comforting. I think a lot about having two kids. I don't worry about loving you both enough but I do worry about giving you both the amount of attention you'll need, especially when you're both so little. I wonder a lot about what you'll be like, if you'll be anything like Clara or just the opposite. I'm so excited to see. I'm 35 weeks along with you today. People comment on my belly a lot, they think it's big, it is!

My pregnancy with you and Clara and somewhat the same and somewhat different. Both times everyone said at the beginning, "You don't even look pregnant!" Then at about 6.5 months when I pop no one can believe what happened. It was like that with your sister, so I was ready for it, reminding my coworkers what would happen. It's like no one believed me, they're all still shocked at the size of my belly. Thankfully everyone says it's all in my belly. I beg to differ, but I'll take it. You have some serious weight to gain still and you're packing on the pounds and fat in these next few weeks, I hope you go easy on me. Today was the first day I noticed swelling but it was definitely because I worked all day on my feet, then played with Clara for a few hours and then cleaned the house for a few hours and haven't sat down all day long...only to read Clara her bedtime books. I don't want to swell like I did with her, mostly because it looks gross and is embarrassing. My acid reflux isn't as bad as it was with her. I still stop eating "early" usually nothing past 5-6, maybe an apple. There are some nights I have to sit up, but the majority of the nights I can lay down-ish. I have gained less weight than I did last time thus far, about 10 lbs less. I was hoping for that since I never lost it all after having Clara. The strange part to me is I have stretch marks on my belly with you and I didn't with her and she was WAY bigger than my belly is now. I know you'll get that big or bigger but I don't get why I didn't get stretch marks with her too. My doctor thinks it's because you have big growth spurts, which makes sense I guess and she gained her weight gradually. My skin sometimes feels like it's going to pop with you, maybe that's when your spurts come?! Instead of being up all night with acid reflux I'm up with leg cramps. Oh My  Dear Lord do they hurt! I've never had such cramps and never got these with Clara. I read about them last time. I wake up and want to scream, sometimes it takes more than an hour to get them to stop. I just lay still and hope they go away, they eventually do. Massaging them doesn't help, sometimes I have to stand up and the pressure or stretching helps a tad, sometimes makes it worse. I make sure to stay hydrated, get potassium and magnesium and all that good stuff, doesn't seem to make a difference. You can be an active baby at night, I don't remember Clara that active at nighttime. I dread getting up to pee (which is about 4-5 times) and rolling over (about 10+ times) because I wake you and then you keep me awake. Clara is teething again, a doozie on the bottom, so she has been waking up around 4:30-5 and then mommy can't go to sleep because I give her some milk in a sippy cup to help her go back to sleep then I'm too awake. Then daddy tosses and turns. So, mommy should be pretty ready for sleepless nights! JUST KIDDING. I know it'll be MUCH LESS sleep having to feed and change, etc so I'm taking advantage of no feeding, crying, changing, burping and enjoying the peace of feeling you squirm and hiccup inside my belly. You're getting quite heavy these days, I think you have a big brain and that must be the pressure downstairs. ;) All in all you've taken it pretty easy on me I'd say. I moan to your daddy about the issues I have but I know it's nothing compared to what some deal with and I'm always so very thankful to be able to be the one who gets to create/grow  you, carry you,  and snuggle you this close for 10 months.

You are another miracle for daddy and I and we already love you more than you could ever imagine. I'll have daddy take a picture of how big you are now in my BIG belly this week/weekend and post it. Your ears must be burning because you're all over right now. All I can ever hope for is that you're a happy, healthy baby boy. We'll meet you so soon! Now go to sleep so I can too! I love you.