One hell of a week!

This is one of those weeks I'm so glad it came to an "end". Since we're not out of the woods just yet, I don't consider it over.

Last week ended great with an amazing shower hosted by Lisa, Tiffany, and Mimi. Over the top of course. It was nice and intimate, the food was amazing, as were the adorable baby boy things. I only took one picture for some reason. I'll get the rest from Tiffany soon and make a separate post.

Beautiful ladies. (Tif & her mom)

Doe said to bring Clara, she was teething and I knew she'd only want Mommy so I decided to leave her home with dada and take a break to be able to socialize with my wonderful friends who were there to celebrate our little man. 

Clara struggled since Saturday with her tooth coming in. The last few have really bothered her. Julia was sick the previous week on Tuesday at Doe's with another double ear infection and ended up with 103.6 fever by the end of the day, poor baby. Clara had a fever after but it was teething related so I thought we were out of the woods avoiding that illness. 

This week was the busiest week at work this entire year. We had Science boards due which meant TONS of experiments, grades were due so that's a ton of work for me getting those together and since the kids have been testing I had to fill in some assignments to compile fair accurate grades = tons of grading, then report cards, there was the Green Festival Thursday night too. I had planned on taking Clara which my students were so excited about, :((( too sick. I also had to write all my goodbyes to my students, I wrote a class letter and individual letters with a picture of Clara and I in our tie-dyes that we made as class shirts this year. I'm nervous this baby boy is going to come and I will not have said a proper goodbye. Needless to say the worst week possible for Clara to be sick and she got the works, same as Julia and Tyler, cough, fever, runny nose, it's yet to make it to her ears, if it does, it may be the end of us. I don't think I can manage working, being 39 weeks preggers, not sleeping, saying goodbye to my class, hormones, and worst of all, my sweet Clara so sick. She's not been herself one bit, she won't eat/drink which worries me the most since that's the least typical for her. When she woke up with it on Wednesday I HAD to go to work in the morning to get things together for a sub, unfortunately teachers cannot just call in and call it a day. So, I got my students organized and left the sub to finalize science boards due Thursday :/ so I could leave and get Clara. I was so nervous the germs were going to to get to Kingston which is Doe's 5 month old grandson so I wanted to get Clara out of there STAT, and take her home and snuggle her of course. Doe said since the germs had already been in her house at that point not to stress, but if Kingston got this yucky mess I'd feel horrible so I went and got her anyway. The science boards didn't turn out as I hoped of course, but it is what it is, at that point it was the least of my concerns. No one is sleeping, I'm petrified that I'm going to have this baby while Clara is sick which worries me for three reasons: #1 that I'd have to leave Clara sick with someone else while in the hospital, and #2 that I'll get it and not feel well = not able to take care of my sick baby and more important not well enough to push a baby out of me, starting motherhood sick wouldn't be good, finally #3 that Clara would be sick when I bring her newborn brother into our home. Anyway, back to Thursday night, went to the Green Festival which is held at the school and is science related, very neat event our school puts on. My kids were so mad at me that Clara wasn't there but so sweet and concerned about her. Andre was supposed to bring her in on a Thursday at the end of the year for lunch and a class picture with her with all our tie-dye shirts but since he is working Thursdays again now, that can't happen. So they were extra bummed not to see her at Green Festival, many of them came just to see her. Andre texted to get the late game on Thursday for volleyball so he could be home with her until I was done. By 7pm I started to swell a bit too much and so I left 30 minutes early. The heat is what does it. However, that is one huge bonus this pregnancy, I'm barely swollen, yay!! Clara was fast asleep when I got home, daddy takes such good care of her. Friday morning came and her fever was down, not gone, but down. I called Doe first thing to tell her and let her know I'd stay home to avoid getting Kingston sick, not being in work on Friday with grades due would have been a bit of a problem but I know Lisa could have brought me my stack of grading and computer to do by midnight on Friday. Doe, being Doe, said not to worry, at that point with all the kids around Kingston if he was going to get it he would and if not, not. She said she and Michael (her husband who helps out and is amazing with the kids) isolate him. Daddy sent me the saddest picture of my sweet pea before he took her. Broke my heart not being home with her. She went right to sleep when she got to Doe's house for 2.5 hours and then went back to sleep 10 minutes before I showed up at 3. Doe let me leave and let her sleep. I gassed up my car, ran an errand or two, cleaned up the house, and even sat in my recliner for 25 minutes nodding off at the end!?!?! Yes, I was that pooped. Longest week ever...I went to get Clara at 5:30 even though Doe didn't call to say she was awake, I was worried she wouldn't sleep at night, and mama needs sleep. We had a low key night and Andre slept in the other room with the monitor so I could get better sleep which I was VERY thankful for. She's still not herself today, thankfully her fever is gone. She has a bad cough and a runny nose, lots of sneezing now too and she's plugged up. I'll feel so much better when she gets her appetite back and drinks more, she's too skinny and dehydrated. Andre and I were supposed to go out for our last time before baby boy came today. My friend Bonnie at work is SO nice and babysits Clara for free from time to time. When Clara got up from her nap today she was so far from herself I couldn't bring myself to leaving her. Our plan was to go get everything from the regestry that we didn't get and then go out to eat with friends since I haven't been out or seen anyone in a coons age. Needless to say, I ran to Babies R Us and got some essentials then let Andre go to dinner. I would have gone since he sees everyone more but I can't eat past 5 or I'm up all night with reflux so I decided to have a date night with my sick Clara. She loves bubbles so she took a bubble bath, we played with play-do, I got her to eat some things I picked up while I was out!! Yay! I caved and gave her a bottle which got her to drink LOTS of milk. As sad as I was not to be able to get away and see everyone and have a break, I'm glad I stayed since she needed me and I made some progress with eating and drinking. I would have just worried about her if I pushed myself to go. She's now sleeping, waking lots with a cough, :( poor thing. Maybe I'll ask dada to sleep in the other room again tonight so I can get some better rest. I'll keep my fingers crossed that we're all healthy when Andre Jr. arrives. I'll be one happy camper if that's the case!! 

Oh, and since I went to work Friday, I let my kids play board games and watch movies for 3 hours while I graded and did report cards, not my best teacher move of the year but they were happy and deserved the break and I clearly needed that time so I didn't have to stay up after I put Clara to bed on Friday doing them. Huge bonus, thanks Doe! I also read the class letter to the kids, bawled my eyes out, I've never done that in front of them, all three years, they've maybe seen me tear up. They could tell I was bawling the day I miscarried since I looked a mess after and were so concerned about me, some still ask me what happened that day. They care too much about me, I don't like to let them see me sad since I know they want to make it all better, especially my boys. But this was a bitter sweet cry, not just sad. My boys were all in tears, some girls, my boys are so sweet and sensitive. Here is the class letter: 

                                                                                                                                                                                May 2015

My Dearest 5^th graders –

I’m not sure where to begin. For many of you, I’ve had you since you were so small…I had no idea I’d spend three more years with you. I don’t know how I got so lucky. I feel like we’re a family, even if you’ve only been in class this year, it didn’t take anyone long to fit right into our perfect world. Each new addition, year after year, couldn’t have been more fitting for our family. Some came, and some left, and some left and came back. (Yay Tristen!)

I want you to know how much you mean to me. Each day I wake up, I want to come to work. Not many people can say that. This is my tenth year teaching, not every year has been so wonderful, and this particular year has made my 10^th year quite memorable.  I look forward to spending time with you each day. I enjoy teaching you. Last year, having to leave Clara to come back to work after 3 months was one of the hardest times in my life. I could do it because of you, because I knew I was coming back to family and if I wasn’t able to be with her, I’d want to be with you, trying to make a difference in your lives. Thank you for giving me that opportunity.

Over the last year(s), you’ve all been hard working, confident, dedicated and most importantly, people of character. I set high goals for you, each of you, and you all reach them time and time again. Even when I think I may be pushing you beyond your limits, you strive for success and reach any goal I set. This class has impressed me in so many ways. Thank you for taking school seriously, thank you for taking me seriously. Your education is your future, it will serve you, make it your priority when I’m not there reminding you day in and day out.

You all need to thank you parents, grandparents, and family members that have helped you along the way. They supported you more than you know and supported me as well. Without them, you wouldn’t be where you are today. As a middle school student, ALL responsibility is on you, take charge! Set your own high goals. Reach them! When you fail, keep your chin up and realize failure is a path to success. Without failure, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to learn and grow, be okay with failure if you’re giving it your all. If you don’t fail from time to time, you’re not challenging yourself enough.  

I think what I’ve enjoyed most of all, other than our phenomenal academic success, is the love and respect that’s instilled in our room. We’ve evolved into a class with such great character and high regard for one another it makes my heart extremely full. You are such selfless kids, looking out for one another, putting others first, it’s amazing to see. I can think of so many examples of your selflessness: thinking about your classmates best interest, picking up after others without hesitation, opening doors, using manners, standing up for each other, standing up for yourself, having a positive attitude, sharing, hugs, claps and cheers when one another succeed, picking one another up in hard times, the list can go on. We’ve lived in a bubble that we’ve created; middle school may or may not be as friendly. Keep in mind, with your attitude and decision making, it can be whatever you want it to be. You are in control; your future is in your hands.

You all have what it takes to make this world a better place. You do daily already, continue to be the type of person you are proud of each and every day. If you make a mistake, apologize and learn from it. Stay in touch with me so I can watch you grow from afar, or come back and see me in person! Remind your parents to update me, send me pictures and someday seek me out on social media. You can watch Clara and her baby brother grow on YouTube, I’ll be posting videos! Work hard, believe in yourself and you can be anyone you want to be. Lead, and set an example for your peers by showing, not telling. I’ll miss you dearly, I already do and you’re still here. This is not “Goodbye”, it’s “I’ll see ya later!”

I love you all,
Mrs. Feger  

I wrote them individual letters too. Then I had them write me back. I'll put some clips here soon of what they wrote back, they're too sweet. I don't think I'll want to teach again after this year. They are my heart. We ended with the thought of, "just in case" and gave lots of hugs Friday afternoon. I'll be really sad to miss any day with them this year. They've seen me through both my babies, crazy! One of the mom's is ready with facetime so I can watch their graduation if need be. 

Teething baby, not sick yet..

Sick -  I can tell just by looking in her eyes, the smell of her pee, so many signs she was not feeling well, before she gave up drinking.

Fever - keeping her hair off her neck, quite the challenge. I just had a washcloth soaking on the back of her neck and forehead. She didn't enjoy it but she was into Dora enough to allow it.

Poor baby.

Green Festival - Screech Owl - full grown, so small! Clara would have LOVED seeing the owls. 

My poor poor baby. Andre sent this to me at work = mama's heart broken.

One of the highlights of my week! My 5th grade team had an intimate shower for me. They wanted it bigger, for the whole school. I said no. They all spoiled me rotten when I had Clara and there are 8 pregnant people this year, I'm pretty sure everyone is sick of baby showers and one was enough. This was perfect. They had the cutest basket of goodies for baby boy Feger and the best lunch, THANK YOU!

Saturday morning when I thought we were heading in the right direction with Clara's health, we went outside to play for the morning while Dada cut the grass. Clara loves being outside. Mama is hot and fat so we got in the pool eventually, great morning.

She gave Dada the biggest hug I missed of course, then she wanted to play with his headphone.

I'm so gross and huge in all of these pictures but Andre and Clara are ADORABLE!

She thought it was so funny she could see us all in the phone, I clearly don't take enough selfies, she was saying "mama!" so excited she could see me in the phone and next to her at the same time.

After she woke from her nap in not so good condition, this cheered her up. My date tonight. Best date ever.

Loving the bubbles.

She had many highs and lows tonight. This was a high, she was being so silly. We took these to send to Dada while he was at dinner.

Slick Rick. She was giving me big hugs and kisses, of course I missed them.

I love you Clara Beara, feel better soon my love.