Hard Day Wed March 30

Today is one of those days where my heart and my brain are not on the same page.

I walked out of the house this morning, knowing I would never step foot into "our home" again. We do hope to go visit, but that will be so hard. Andre and I didn't want to sell our house, but it's the right thing for our family at this point in our life. Well, Andre and I both despise the paper trees that litter our yard with leaves and pollen but I wasn't willing to let it go over that. We have MY SISTER who just moved down the street, when in life does that happen?!?! We have a neighborhood perfect for the kids, especially Everett. Everyone knows everyone and it's so friendly and kid oriented, I could picture other friends looking out for him...lots of young kids and babies. Our neighbors, Bob and Nancy...where to begin. Nancy is an Italian chef at heart, she cooks for us regularly, watches the kids in a pinch, helps me clean, fixes my problems, is the best ear and shoulder. I don't know what I'll do without Nancy, but I know she's only a phone call away. We have neighbors with and without kids that welcome us into their home, on a regular basis, have a drink, walk home, how nice! We changed and improved EVERY inch of our home, made it just what we wanted, every blade of grass, every wall is painted just the way we want, floors and bathrooms done, redid the pool, deck, made a tiki and Andre made a paradise backyard, the list goes on. I'm in love with the kids rooms, we spent a lot of time making everything just what we wanted, it was so hard to let go. We got married there, we walked over the threshold Mr. and Mrs., we brought both our babies into this world there, our paradise backyard is everything I could ever imagine, we've hosted so many of my favorite memories from our single days to our first days as parents. I know it's just things, I know our home doesn't define us, but I just love it there. I love the feel of home, change scares me. We put our all into that home, I will miss it greatly.

I'm trying to focus on less to clean in a condo, no yard work for Andre so we can go and do as a family. Clearly cheaper cost of living, which is the main reason for the move. Hopefully being in a place that is 10 years old less will break and there'll be less for Andre to fix. I'm trying to keep my mind on the bigger picture, it's just not that easy.

Our Today was a hard day, tomorrow will be better.