My heart is already breaking. I missed my babies like crazy when Kristin let us go on a date on Sunday, how the heck am I supposed to go back to work?! I know I should just be thankful I've had this time, more time than most, but it doesn't take away the heartache. I remember telling Brandi when she had more time, I knew it would be even harder for her to go back than me, just like the longer you lave a band-aid on, but worth that protection even though the rip is worse!
I don't know how I'll do work, two kids, therapies...I have NO time with both kids right now. I'm hoping Everett is a better sleeper at that point. Fingers crossed, tight. It hasn't been until 9 that he goes to sleep, or later sometimes, and I am pooped after being up all night with him. When will I grade? Plan? Email parents? Clean my house? Do the laundry? Sleep?! BLOG?! I keep telling myself people do this all the time, I will figure it out. My standards have already changed. My house is usually a mess of toys and dishes until after the kids go to bed, and I don't care all that much. It gets picked up every night by Kristin or myself, dishes done, laundry kept up with but not put away so fast these days. When she moves out, I'll keep up with those things, or try. The house gets vacuumed maybe once a week, sheets every two to three...dust is everywhere. Everywhere. And I don't care in the least. If I were to clean it, it would come right back. I love playing with my babies way more than those things, but I just hope to be able to keep up with the basics.
Everett and Clara - being with you both day in and day out makes my life perfect. This has been the more rewarding time in my life, and the most exhausting. Being the mommy of you two sweet peas is the biggest blessing one could have. I get so excited when I think about our future as a family. Having Kristin and Lisa have two babies in college I'm well aware of how fast it goes and I'll soak up every last second with you two. Clara, you're going to be TWO soon! What the heck?! I'm sorry I have to leave you both to work, it seems so wrong that we have babies in this world to let someone else raise them. I'm thankful I chose the profession I did so at least I have the time I do with you both. You are my world. I love you both with my entire heart and soul. XOXO
Mama
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