Everett 4 months

Everett, you're such a pumpkin. You're a very happy baby. When you get sad I can distract you and talk to you and you cheer up so fast. You're easy going and let me dress you, change you, give you a bath, give you medicine that makes you cringe and you do it all with a smile...after the cringe. You're a lover, we snuggle when we can. It's hard with sissy, I have to put you down when you're sleeping so I can play with her. When she's asleep I hold you even if you're sleeping. I miss those moments. I did cherish them with you sister, so I have no regrets, but I still wish I had more of them with you. When I had Clara I struggled with losing the closeness with Andre, now I'm struggling with losing the closeness with Clara, I want three of me...or more, I want to give you all more love and attention.

You're getting bored with your swing and seat, you need more. You like to be sitting up or standing up, you want to see the world. You're full of conversation and you're ticklish. When I get you good under your pits you let out the cutest little giggle. I get pretty rough with you and Aunt Kristin and Dada pick on our play, it apparently looks like I'm choking you...we like it! We busted out your exersaucer and prop you in it with pillows for a few minutes here and there. You're so happy seeing everything and you love it extra when sissy plays with the toys and talks nonsense while you play. You track her wherever she goes.

You're strong! You're doing everything a "typical" baby would do at this point, since you're a typical baby! ;) You're starting to roll over, you've done belly to back 3 times. You hold your head great and your trunk is getting strong. You hold your legs up along with your head when you're on your belly and you're starting to push up on your hands. Your therapists are so impressed when they work with you. I don't tell them since it's frowned upon, but I think between your tummy time and play with me and sleeping on your belly, you've got great head control. I know "back is best" for sleep but you're so happy and sleep so much better on your belly. Your torticolus is almost gone, you just barley favor your right side but it's not due to strength, it's just preference. I'm pretty sure we all do that. You like to stand a lot but I know our focus needs to be sitting. Your therapists give us great ideas for you and I know you'll be sitting before I know it! You're getting so big, we go to the doctor tomorrow so I'll put your stats in after but you're at least 15 lbs.

You're not liking being left on your own unless you're upright which makes it hard. You like being held in the sitting position. You used to be happy in your chair or on your back in your play area with the toys above you but you're over it. I think it's a good thing for the most part, you're so curious about your surroundings. You love to socialize so you don't like hanging out alone for long.

You're eating well, I don't keep track anymore. I'm on a new diet, no milk protein, you have an allergy to it. It's been about 2 weeks since we've found out. I don't notice a difference in your behaviors at all, yet. You can't drink any of the frozen milk I have stored for you and since I don't pump throughout the night I'm not making enough for all of your meals day to day. I'm usually lacking just one meal if I stay hydrated and on top of pumping. You've nursed a few times, you usually don't like to suck long enough for the "let down" since you don't know to because you're used to it coming out right away from the bottle. When you do though, you drink well but I still think it's too fast for you so I just try once in a while. I read that when a mama nurses the baby's spit goes into the nipple and the body makes exactly what the baby needs, even antibiotics if they get sick, so amazing, so we'll keep trying. Maybe we'll get there, maybe not. I hope that your allergy goes away so my freezer and a half of milk doesn't go to waste. I have started giving some to your sister just in case. Four months of pumping, "wasted" -- that was a hard pill to swallow. I'll be optimistic you can have it in a few months. If not, we'll save money on milk for Clara?! Ugh...

Your breathing is still strange. You suck in deep between your ribs, DEEP! Also under your neck which you can't usually see because of your chins and cheeks. I don't like it one bit, but everyone says it's just "your way". I hope you grow out of it, it seems like it's a very labored way of breathing and I would imagine exercise would be hard. You're constipated, you only poop every three days, today it was four. Your tummy gets full and uncomfortable and you don't sleep well, you try, but you need lots of help staying comfortable so I rock you or walk around the room. So, you have reflux, labored breathing, a milk protein allergy, but I think we're headed in the right direction...I hope. These are all things you "should" grow out of unless we're in that 1-2% which wouldn't shock me really. You deal with it all so well. I can tell things bother you from time to time but you keep on keeping on with that adorable smile. You only cry when you're really hungry or over tired. You got over tired a lot in NY which led to a few cry sessions. We were on the go a lot which was necessary to see everyone and do fun things, but it got us out of our routine.

HA, routine. That was a joke. We don't have a routine. As soon as we get two days down, a therapy session, doctor's appointment, or constipation gets in the way. I like it, and I don't, all at the same time. At this point with Clara, I had it all "figured" out. With you, we're more flexible, which I believe is part of the second child anyway. However, I'm a routine kind of mommy and with your therapy and doctors appointments all the time, we can't settle into anything. I don't know how much you eat a day, or in a sitting, or in an hour. Sometimes it's the same and other times not, so I just go with the flow. Some days you nap a lot and most days not. Maybe when I go back to work and we're forced into a routine we'll have one...I'll look forward to it. The routine, NOT work. I won't even go there right now. The one month countdown has begun. :(((( If I let myself go there for more than five seconds, waterworks, and I believe we're on the hunt for new day care, extra waterworks.

You're sleeping better for the most part, I hate to even utter that word in fear of anything changing. You're not up every 20-45 minutes so anything is better. You'll usually have one "long" stretch of 4 hours or so somewhere in the night and then the other half is hit or miss. Once or twice I've only gotten up once at around 2 and then you've slept until 6. A few nights you will wake at 1 and drink 4 oz and then wake at 2 and drink 4 more and then stay asleep. Other times you're up all night, one never knows. I just hope over this next month we get a little more consistent. Although I think it would be less tiring going to work then staying home taking care of you and sissy, you two tucker me out. But I love it.

All in all, you're doing great. I was reflecting on the airplane on our way to NY. A few days after you were born I didn't know if you would live or die, then I didn't know if we'd ever make it out of the hospital with or without a feeding tube, and there we were, on the plane, like an average family. Life is good. You are perfect. You make our family perfect. We love you little Tiger that I call Bubba. I wanted to call you Tiger so bad but Bubba rolled off the tongue and I don't know why, but it fits. You're the sweetest little being and I'm so lucky to call you mine.

Pics and doc stats soon...