Big time low..

Going back to work tomorrow, I've cried myself out of tears today.

So much is not in my favor right now. Everett is not sleeping, I'm only getting a few hours of sleep a night. He needs to see ENT, his breathing is what's causing issues, I think. Can't get him in for a scope and possible adenoid removal until the 17th.

New sitter tomorrow, so scary starting over and not being in control.

I'm not ready to leave my babies. It will never feel right. I want to be with them 24/7. I have so many things on my to do list that didn't get done and probably won't for 10 years. I can't imagine taking on work with everything else on my plate right now. BUT it's here, there's no avoiding it so I best get my game face on and put my best foot forward.

To Clara and Everett,
These past 5 months with you both have been the most challenging, yet rewarding times of my life. I will forever cherish my endless days with you. I never get sick of being around you, I never want to leave your little bodies,  you are my world. You make me feel complete and whole. There is no job more amazing than being your mommy. You both have my whole heart, and always will. My thoughts will be about you all day and I'll be dreaming about getting my hands and lips all over you the moment I walk through the door. Be good for mommy!
I love you more than you'll ever know,
Mama
Or "mom" since Clara called me that yesterday. Uh, no lady, I corrected you and will...forever.

Enter picture of us here.....oh wait, that was something on my to do list today that I didn't get to. surprise surprise!