July 4 weekend

Everett has really stepped up his game with eating. He has eaten numerous bottles and downed them on his own, 80 mL. We continue to have the same problem where he is sleepy during his feeding time but awake (and sometimes hungry) in between. They need to keep a schedule here to feed all of the babies, however it is not conducive to natural eating habits.

Andre came in this morning to be with our little man and spoke with the doctor about this problem and she was willing to let him try a day on his own. This will allow us to feed him when he is hungry and let him sleep in between. He needs to consume 320 mL per shift. He was 10 short tonight.

There are many problems with the system they have here, other than not being natural. Tonight they weighed him and he apparently lost weight, however the nurse thinks it was the scale. They say he has 80 mL in his bottle, but it's always between 82 and 85. Every milliliter counts at this point. Nurses sometimes skip important information. For example, tonight, our day nurse didn't tell our night nurse that we were letting him eat and sleep on his own time so she was telling me I had to wake him every three hours. Therefore we have to keep fighting stupid battles over and over. In my opinion, at this point he is eating a decent amount and is very capable. His respiratory system is well. I think we should be counting his wet and poopy diapers instead of focusing on every milliliter consumed. He is a big healthy boy and his weight will fluctuate, but maybe see that he is gaining weight each week and focus on a daily weight.

I am beyond thankful for everything that has been done for us until this point, my baby would not be alive without the amazing nurses and doctors that have tended to his needs. The helplessness that I felt for so long was the worst feeling I have ever had in my life. I am now confident that I have what it takes, and know exactly what my baby needs. I would not take him home right now if they said I could. I know we need a few more days of steady progress. I just want to be in control of the progress, and not told to wake my sleeping baby to eat, when he is not even hungry. Trying to feed him when he is tired and full probably creates just as much of an oral aversion as being intubated. Tube feeding him 80 mL every three hours may not be what he needs, he might need 60 in one meal and 90 in another, babies do not eat the same amount every time the feed. Babies know how much to eat, we don't give them enough credit, they're smart little cookies. I remember breast feeding Clara and never knowing how much she was eating, she knew what to do, babies know what to do.

I have many more (positives) to add from our fun filled weekend, and plenty of pictures. But I'm going to try to get some sleep for now on my cozy pull out chair. I'm sure Everett will have me up on my toes in no time!