I could upload one pic at a time by plugging my phone into the computer but my life doesn't allow for that kind of time right now.
I'm going back to work next Thursday. I have big time blues about it and I'm very anxious about E going to school. Like, super scared. I went in to work to be on the interview committee to hire someone for his class since his teacher will be on maternity leave. The lady seems okay, we will see. She has great experience and she seemed to know the curriculum so my fingers are crossed tight she takes the job and we don't have to have random subs in his room all the time. :( He'll be going to school with two familiar faces. My old AP's daughter Lia (born one week after Everett) is going and so is my friend Kate's (who I teach with and her mom Doe used to watch Clara when she was bitty and she still ((her mom)) watches the kids from time to time.) son Kingston. He doesn't see them too often but when I needed help last year Doe would watch him and he'd play with them for a few hours while I was at work. We also got together the other day so hopefully he recognizes some faces. He is used to the classroom since we dropped Clara off a lot last year. I'm super nervous about so many things:
-will he be sad
-will he make it through the day - it'll be a long one for him - his nap now = 11 school = 1
-will he nap - he has a dark room with white noise and a crib and now he'll be surrounded by kids, on a cot, with many new noises and distractions
-he doesn't feed himself, will the teachers have time to? Will he let them? Will he be hungry?
-I know his signs and his few words and his signals when he needs something, he can't tell anyone what he needs or wants :(
-will he get hurt? He cannot get in and out of a chair, he's still an unsteady walker, the PLAYGROUND?! OMG super worried about that
-will kids be nice to him and include him
-will he ever have enough energy to go to necessary therapy after school? We are taking a break from OT/PT for now anyway and going to try to continue with speech and feeding
-will he miss his me and be lost and sad?!?!!? It'll break my heart.
-how the heck am I going to take them to school with me, pick them up the moment my students are dropped, get my stuff done, TEACH when my heart and brain is with them, get any therapy in, voilin and extras for Clara, grade papers, plan, conference with parents and all the extra paperwork...bla bla bla. People do it, I'll have to figure it out. But it's currently on my list of worries.
Of course this is a big step for Everett but I worry about both my babies. Clara doesn't want to go back to school, she doesn't want to be away from me again. We all love this time together so very much, it's truly the reason I became a teacher. I loved being at school with my mom and I am pretty sure Clara feels the same way about leaving me as I did my mom, I hated it. I remember being glued to her hip always. Clara ventures out a bit more than I did at her age, she is a very brave girl, but she likes mommy and daddy around. I get it. So I'll make sure to stick as close as I can to my babies always. Every moment with them is precious. I know this. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. My heart is empty when they're not near me, even if they are just a room away or down the hall. Having your kids grow up is bitter sweet. I hope we can transition to school well and in a few weeks be in a groove and things are great. I know when I worry, that I don't really have anything to worry about. We are downtown each day where mama's are taking their babies in for chemo, kids are having major surgeries, etc. I know I should just be excited about this time but for some reason I cannot control my worries. Although worried, I'm also somewhat excited and very thankful.
I can't wait to post pics and deets from our trip to NY. It was amazing. Time with family is priceless. Clara got to play with cousins, tube, I got to see family and friends that I miss so very much. It was great. It's never enough time, but better than no time at all. I hope maybe next year I can spend a bit more time and travel around NY to visit more college friends and stay and visit with family longer. Clara loved it. She said her heart belongs in NY. :( I'm certain in the dead of winter she'd be whining, after her first thrill of snow. She is such a complainer when she is cold. It'll always be our favorite place to visit, I just wish we could do it more.
We have been busy since we've been home. We got Everett's glasses, I have to try them on him still. He was too pooped after his ENT apt. He needs an ABR - I forget what it stands for but he needs to be put under to test his middle ear to make sure it's working since he continues to fail his hearing tests. His audiologist and ENT both agree it's what would make them comfortable. So we have to sign up for that, I called, waiting for a call back to schedule. We are taking a break from PT and OT after this week since I go back to work and I have NO CLUE how we will A. fit it in and B. if he will have an ounce of energy after a long school day. He started to feed himself peaches and gold fish. That's HUGE for him. It was just pizza and pretzels before. Widening what he feeds himself makes me so happy and relived with school around the corner. He is a sensory kid and if he doesn't like the touch he certainly won't put it in his mouth. I'm trying to get him to drink some high protein smoothies, it's a work in progress. He and Clara will be at recess together, that makes me happy! Hopefully she plays with him and looks out for him. He got a stomach bug last Sunday night. He woke up puking and pooping all over, couldn't keep medicine down and his fever was high so I had to put him in a cool bath even though he was having chills, it was so torturous, I knew it was best but all I wanted to do was wrap him up in a blanket. Thankfully Andre is the voice of reason in these times. His tummy still seems to be upset but he started eating and drinking normal after 24 hrs. We are going to have a few play dates in the near future at our house. Tomorrow Juliet, Clara's violin buddy. Next week one of Clara's friends from school and Kingston & Kate, Clara's friend is Ava and she is a year older than Clara. Her mom teaches at the school too and just adopted a new baby girl Amber, we're so excited for them and can't wait to meet her. I'm glad my kids are going to be around familiar school faces before school starts, that should help us ease back into things.
That's all for now. Hopefully I can get an app that works or figure out wordpress, I know the pics are more fun than all my bla bla bla text.
