The end of summer was amazing. I enjoyed every second with my nuggets. I love summer life, it's stress free and wonderful. It's busy but manageable. So many play dates, splash park adventures, games played, hours in the pool, sleepovers with cousins, and a few movies! I still rock Everett for nap or he won't sleep and he needs his nap still. He isn't cranky but therapy was still in the evening this summer so we could hold our spot for the school year and he would be too tuckered to give his best if he missed his nap. It takes ten minutes to snuggle him to sleep and it's something I know I'm going to miss forever pretty soon! I also napped with Clara some days when we knew we would be up late. I love watching my babies sleep and hearing their small breaths. Needless to say, not a second this summer was unappreciated.
I still get excited for a new school year even though I don't really want to go back. The thought of helping kids learn and making a difference is still something I really enjoy and feel like I'm up for the challenge. There are so many road blocks with teaching today, it's sad and sometimes I feel like it's not worth all the hard work and disappointment when so much is out of my control, when I'm trying so hard to do what's best for kids and my hands are tied with so many different ropes. The guilt I feel when thinking about abandoning my profession, the thought of "those kids" that need my love and attention keeps me going back. I can promise you it's not the paycheck!
One night I'm relaxing on the couch and after day one back I feel like I have spun in circles all day and now have a 999,999 list of things to do that will really and truly never get done. I knew a few weeks before going back I should start working on a few things but I couldn't make myself do it. I kept telling myself I deserved the peace of mind. I'm kicking myself now! Chipping away at it all this summer would have really helped. "next summer"!
I'm never as ready as I want to be, I always feel like I should be doing more...more for my students and classroom, more for my personal children, more for their teachers. We keep plugging along. I do things like have Clara's supply bag ready, including her towel for rest time. I'm so proud I got it all in advance and I put it in my office the day before school and forgot to send her with it so she laid on the carpet in class. (So many emoji faces I want to enter here) Everett's beginning of the year "introduction" I create takes forever to update, I could have had that done, but nope, I watched another episode of the handmaid's tale and catastrophe instead. Andre is currently still asking me, "What do you want to watch tonight," and I keep reminding him for the next 180 days I'll be behind my computer or papers hoping to catch a little bit here and there. That's just the name of the game. I've been up until 12 for the last week trying to fit everything in. Relaxing summer mode to insanity. I don't like that part, life is too short and I wish I could slow moments down.
This is my FIFTEENTH year of teaching. WTH?!?!? Anywhoo, I'm teaching 1/2 struggling students who either failed third grade or basically shouldn't have passed second grade. But since they don't hold anyone back anymore, I have kids who are gifted and read above grade level and kids who don't know their sight words. Soooo, this should be a good challenge. Teaching has changed so much in my short fifteen years, not for the better, not one bit. :(
Our first day was great, everyone's! Clara has been rocking her tasks in the am, we are using sticker charts to help motivate her to keep moving and do things herself. We have to be out the door at 7 so mama needs coffee and Clara needs stickers to earn treasure box. Then there's Bubby, who needs nothing because he's an early bird and the easiest little human that ever was! Both my kids do so good and I'm so thankful. Neither really want to go to school but they both do and don't give me a hard time. This year Clara was truly excited for the first time because she went into this Kindergarten teacher's class last year when her class napped. Mrs. Mangone is super sweet, nurturing, smiles a lot and gives hugs, just like every teacher of every grade should be. Everett does what he's supposed to. I think he caught on quick after meet and greet what was coming. He gives me a kiss and says bye and goes and does his thing. His assistant this year is awesome. She is super sweet and so eager to help and get to know him and push him in positive ways. She has two daughters that go to our school, one was in Clara's class last year and the best news is I have her third grade daughter in my class. So, she comes to class to pick up Clara and Everett and walks them to class for me. Sometimes I feel like the pieces end up fitting together like they should. I'm always questioning if I'm doing what's best for them, I hope so.
Tiffany called me Saturday around lunch and mentioned she was going to do Kindergarten pics with Julia at Heritage Village which hosts many old structures, including two old school houses. We got there at 3:15 and realized it closes at four. I got dolled up because I want to be in pics with my kids. Andre wouldn't do a family photo because he needs his hair cut or something silly, he never wants to. Tiffany whipped out amazing pics in that short time. I feel TERRIBLE though because she had a whole outfit planned and poses ready for her and Julia because long story short, she is homeschooling her this year (maybe if she doesn't get into the school her brothers go to) and we all lost track of time so we had to sneak into the schoolhouse she didn't want her pics in because they were locking up the one we were in and had to take quick pics with my phone, ugh, I felt terrible. She took pics of me and my kids, Everett who isn't going into kindergarten, which wasn't really her plan for the day and then we ran out of time for her. We got a couple on our phones for her but I know it's not what she had in mind. I hope we can go back and I can take more for her, just as she imaged initially.
I go back to the original neurosurgeon at the end of the month. I haven't talked with him since I got the other three opinions. Everett has been Everett, fingers crossed we don't have any surprises.
Here are the pics Tiffany took. Side note: Bubs HATES, I mean, LOATHES pictures
Soooooooooo, this is what Everett needs for Xmas, it's all he did and LOVED it, he loves his numbers as much as the alphabet.
I can't believe this sweetness is going to be in K! BOOoooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooo hoooo
These girls! I love their love.
She really took the time to read the book. My girl!
He reminds me of an old man sometimes! love this
Happy 2019-2020 school year! Where has the time gone??!!?!?
We should redo yours. You're out of focus. I like to start with the mom first, but we were crunched for time and I'm so sorry I didn't. Your hair and everything were so perfect still though, I'm so glad they had A/C in those old buildings! I wanted to get your whole outfit too though. So let's get the hair cut and do more, k?!
ReplyDeleteYou're doing so amazing at being a mom and I met an aunt of a girl in your class today and she told me that you told the girl that you like her confidence which really made the whole family love you instantly. You can click with the girl who is I guess a little strong willed and smart so wants to be respected or something. Anyway, you ARE just what those kids need!