The Feger Family est. 2012: Near Death, Kind of, but not really...PLUS IEP crap

So, last Friday Everett had a fever, not high but enough to be noticed. He was drooling which he never does so I thought his 2 year molars were finally coming in. We didn't think much of it because he goes on with life business as usual. We went to Clara's gymnastics the next morning and he was still a little warm. He struggled napping so I rocked him for the duration. I was feeling run down since he was up the night before too, I thought it was teeth still. So upon waking, he couldn't breath, it wasn't just tight in his throat like usual, he was gasping. We became immediately nervous of course, tried an albuterol treatment, didn't work, ER here we come. He had stopped gasping by the time we got there but started to cough as I was checking us in and YUP, I'll never miss this cough. CROUP. Clara gets it too. I'm pretty sure the cough I haven't been able to get rid of started this downward spiral. :(

It was perfect timing, the resident that was there when his tonsils were taken out saw his name and picked us up. They gave him a steriod and a different breathing treatment than usual, for croup, it didn't work. So we sat there for three hours waiting for it to make a difference and it didn't. I told the doctor when they give him the typical Albuterol treatment, it always works and we go home. So she did, but she only gave us 30 minutes and admitted us, by the time we got upstairs he was fine. Everyone was wondering why we were there. You'll see below in his pics he is his happy go lucky self. However, with all the meds he was all hopped up. I started to get very nauseous and puke around 11, within 30 minutes I had body ache, chills, and a fever. Thankfully Kristopher came to the rescue and went to the house around 12:30am so Andre could leave and swap spots. Of course I got E to sleep right before Andre got there. He did wake of course and it took Andre another two hours, so 3am to get him to sleep. I was so distraught about him not sleeping and how I was feeling I ALMOST got the doctor to discharge us, because she knew us and trusted me. I knew he would sleep best at home. She wanted him to have one more croup treatment even though I don't think it helped at all. I was in no position to argue anymore, I was about to chirp on her. I went home and maybe slept an hour I was so uncomfortable. The docs promised he'd be first to be released. We got them around 8am. I was feeling pretty bad but wasn't sure what was going on. I couldn't eat, had chills, body ache was the worst, and by 2 went to the walk in clinic where they diagnosed me with the flu. We went this ENTIRE terrible flu season without getting it even though our school was riddled with it, and NOW I get it?!!? It went from bad to worse. Everett was doing well on Sunday and he went downhill again Monday. Clara went to school Monday. Everett and I laid in bed for most of the day. Abbey came to help me do some laundry, dishes, and fed him and put him to bed so I could rest. By Tuesday Clara was down and out so I had both kids are no help on Tuesday because Abbey had the day off and my back-up couldn't come. So probably my lowest day and two sick kids, home alone...no fun for any of us. Andre came home early after lunch and I fell asleep with my door open with the kids in the other room and the TV on, unheard of for me!! I thought by now I should be getting better, but I thought I'd give it one more day. Wednesday both kids were still feverish but functioning better than me at this point. I took them to the doctor to make sure I couldn't do more for them. Clara decided to snap out of it and eat everything in the diaper bag out of nowhere. So the dr. cleared her to go back to school. She advised me to give E his treatments even he doesn't seem to need them to keep him open and clear, I can't do it, he hates the medicine and has been tortured enough with meds and hospital visits. I let her know how bad the antibiotic was on his stomach and we agreed we could stop them. Nothing more we could do for either of them, which gives me peace of mind. Abbey came and I went to my appointment, still feeling like death.

Sidebar: on the way to my dr apt the county finally called me to schedule Everett's eligibility meeting. I've been trying to have it scheduled for two months now since his evaluation. I have an advocate and she's very busy and she only had three days one of which she had already revoked by now. I've been pestering the school system to get this meeting set. This is the meeting that gets him an IEP (this is the legal document that tells everyone in school how we meet his needs, it's a working document that will follow him and be revised as needed for his entire school career.) and we decide where he should go to school. Of course during the eval where they judge my son in a matter of minutes they start preaching about how a smaller class size with more adults would benefit him greatly. I, on the other hand, believe that being around typical peers is more beneficial. Everett has a very long attention span, I can guarantee you longer than most of the kids in Clara's current class which is the class he'll be in next year. He follows directions. He's thriving in his current speech class. Do I have concerns, yes, of course, but mostly about it being a long day for him, about him not being able to tell someone what he wants, needs, or how he feels. Feeding is an issue. Anyway, all of these things will be discussed in the meeting and it's a very fine line I'll be walking. As hard as I'll be pushing to get him into the general education setting, I need an advocate, within 10 minutes on the phone she taught me so much. She caught a few lies I have already been told about the process. It's a terrible system that really doesn't want to do what's best for kids and that's sad. My son costs the county money and they don't want to pay. Bottom line. So, after arguing with this woman from the county on my death bed in the car almost late for my dr apt. I tell her I'm well aware she cannot force me into a date that works for all of them (physical therapist, social worker, occupational therapist, speech therapist, feeding therapist, psychologist, etc. the list goes on...) I understand they have a lot of people to coordinate too but this is a team meeting so they have to accommodate my needs too. I made it clear I felt that she was making it difficult for me to have people I want there since she was giving me ONE date in a WEEKS notice when for MONTHS I've been trying to tell them we need time to all get our schedules aligned. I was not being nice, I was sick and impatient. I asked her why we had to do it before his 3rd birthday since school would be out anyway, we have until August. To me it makes most sense to wait since he'll change a lot this summer and we have a big program in place to help him make gains and we can better write his plan when we know where he stands before school starts. She told me it was against the law. (An hour later the advocate told me that's a lie, they'd get a slap on the wrist and do it all the time.) Soooooo, this is why I need an advocate. The school system and those that represent the school lie to save themselves money and screw the important people. So here's the kicker! I finally get this woman to work with me because she knows I know the rules at this point and she can get in deep doodoo if she doesn't accommodate me. So, Yay, I did well. NOPE. Call my advocate to tell her the great news....AAAAAANNNNNND, wait for it....wait for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She gave away all her dates to other people and never told me. What. The. HECK is wrong with people. She told me she ASSumed that the meeting wasn't being held?!?!?!?! What?! What do you mean you thought it wasn't being held. AND you told me when you couldn't do one of the three measly dates you gave me to work with, and then you just give away the other two without notifying me?!?! This is crazy to me. I was in tears. I've worked tirelessly calling and emailing and trying to get every document and supporter I need to do what's best for Everett because I could be walking into a WAR and right now, I have NO ONE. Well, Andre, but I know more about the system than he, so he's my moral support and the one who will keep me from crawling across the table to rip someone's hair out if they happen to say anything that offends me about my son. So I asked the advocate if she knows anyone else. She does. I got my hopes up. They can't come. Dreams gone again. So I'm walking into this meeting alone. Blind. With no support and I'm petrified. So this just added to my already crappy week. I'll try to be optimistic and hope that they support what I want for Everett. However, they haven't sent me any of the reports yet, which they do late on purpose so I don't have time to get a professional to help me understand how they scored him, (advocate told me that) so they can walk in and tell me all the reasons they think he shouldn't be in the general education setting. All I have to say is I hope I have enough strength, self-control, knowledge, and patience to begin his schooling. This is the first big step. Things have been "easy" until now. Now I have to learn to go to battle for my son. I see it everyday, the school system does not do what's best for kids, it's a messed up system. Don't worry Everett, one way or another, I'll get you what you deserve, advocate or not.

So, I get into my appointment and must have looked like death because they didn't even make me sign in. I went right back and the doctor interrupted the nurse doing my vitals because she wanted me to get an X-ray, she'd been listening to me cough down the hall and wants to rule out walking pneumonia, whatever that is, it doesn't sound good for my lungs or my bill. So I told her I'd rather wait since I knew an X-ray would be an arm and a leg. She diagnosed me with bronchitis, strep, and a double ear infection. I left with five prescriptions but only picked up the sterriod and antibiotic. This happened to me last year when I got the flu, minus bronchitis last time. I should have known when it rains it pours. We got through this winter VERY healthy with everything going around. Clara got sick really bad once, of course when I was supposed to go on a trip but that was it. We've been healthy since then and BOOM, all at once. Which is better I guess. I'd rather die for one week than spread out all of that misery. Everett has been doing well, only needing a few treatments through Wednesday and has been good. Clara wakes at night with a low grade fever here and there, or her cough wakes her and daddy cuddles her. Needless to say, we're slowly on the mend. Lots of coughing, snot and such but Clara went to school today and I went to work. (Friday) Lisa saved me all week with sub plans. I don't know what I would do without her. Everett started throwing up Wednesday afternoon out of nowhere. It scared me because after he stopped with the chunks he kept coughing and gagging like he was choking for way too long. So I called Andre to come home, thankfully only 15 minutes early this time. By the time he got home we were cleaned up and okay.

I don't think it's over yet. I have a lot going on and have been around the kids a TON all being stuffed at home. I'm thinking it will be a few weeks and needing lots of rest. Clara and Everett have both been napping long and still going to bed at their usual time, passing right out. I must say, it's MUCH less depressing being in this house home sick than our condo. It's light and bright and cozy.

A few yucky pics below to capture a few of our moments of the mess.

It's SO hard to get this girl to relax. I can count on one hand how many times she's chosen to lay down from being sick on her own. I have to trick her into relaxing.

ipads help

Sweet boy Saturday right before the storm. He is asleep with his eyes kind of open. I snuck out of the chair because my butt goes numb and could hear his breathing start to get labored. :/

A cute pic before the storm began. They are so small, yet so big at the same time.

Before sickness but "resting" in bed bc/ he had a fever. Don't mind the house, not put together yet!

After we got home from the hospital, snuggling mama in bed.

Watching his shows. He's so good.

Leaving the hospital, of course they're all in the wrong order, bc that's how I roll I guess.

admitted. :( He was good to go. It broke my heart. He knew the room, he knew the crib, it took a lot of convincing to get him to sit it in. Last we were here he was pinned down 12 times for new IVs in this awful crib. My sweet boy doesn't forget. The doctors and nurses all comment on how strong he is, he is really good at avoiding things going in his mouth, ears, nose, etc. My flexible little man can get out of any hold. It's amazing how scared he is and what a fighter he is and they can still instantly see into his sweet soul.

In ER - THANK GOD FOR ELMO. The kid LOVES Elmo. I can't even begin to tell you how many ways Elmo has saved us, daily.

Home sick. Mama, snuggled both kids to sleep today. As much as I hate them sick, I love taking care of them. After she fell asleep I stared at her beauty for so long. Listening to her breathe and smelling her little baby breath is my favorite. I also love how peaceful she is when she sleeps since she can be quite the opposite awake as of late. THEN, I get out of bed to see that she almost fills the length of it. How is my first born going on five?!? Just how?!?!

She scowls when she sleeps too! JK, the flash was bright, I took a BIG chance, had this woke her, the storm would have started!!! Do not wake this child up, yikes.

Just cleaning the puke off. Andre came home in time to take the dang doors off the tub for me. I can't stand doors on the kids tub, no space to wash. We'll hang a curtain soon.