I posted this on Facebook. It's nice to remind people she existed, I never want her to be forgotten. The comments people posted will be something I look back at forever, not just on Sept 11, but whenever I need a reminder that it's not just me that misses her and it's not just me that remembers.
20 years ago today, around this hour, I was pulled from my middle school science class and I knew my life would never be the same. Each step I took until reaching her felt like a million years and every person, color and scent that surrounded me is still vivid in my mind. Each year I optimistically anticipate the loss of my mom becoming easier, but it is not. I don't believe it matters what age you are when you lose your mother, part of your heart is gone forever, and a deep ...emptiness remains. The feeling of "home" is forever missing. Somehow, with only 13 short blissful years I feel you in me every day, walking beside me, keeping me going. As I held your hand and watched you take your last breath I hoped I would have it in me to make you proud, and live this life without you. You are missed by so many, and that list continues to grow. Some, that without ever knowing you, will carry on the selflessness, pride, beauty, strength, courage, optimism, and light that you instilled in us: Ana Lang Poston, Kristin Lee Bierman ItWorks, Jeremy Lee. I'll stay optimistic that this year might just be a smidgen easier without you, and continue to hold your smile strong and steady until I get to see you again!
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