She is one talented lady to pull off anything I'm willing to share with how I feel about myself these days!!
33 weeks has lots of changes, most of which I'm not too excited about. Fatigue has set in, doing daily activities feels like a workout. I'm on my feet all day at work and they are swollen at the end of the day so I look forward to the days I get to come home and put them up. I'm warmer than usual, my freezing cold classroom feels good but Andre and I are not even close when it comes to the temperature of the house. This is not the best time of year to crank the AC, it's warm out still!! My body stiffens after sitting for five minutes and Grandma Lang gets around faster than me until I am on the move for a bit. Thankfully Andre pushes and pulls me up and down and helps me with shoes when he is around. Deniz is on my sciatic nerve which causes some extra pain and I have some popping in my back with each step. My belly feels heavy, more so in bed when I try to roll over from side to side and at the end of the day. My skin as you can see above is stretched to the max and is very itchy, even with lots of lotion. All tolerable aches and pains, just not comfortable. I wanted to write these notes in here so in a future pregnancy I can remember when things happened and compare notes.
I've gathered all the materials to pack my bag for the hospital. Scary! I'm filling out my forms for leave and disability, trying to imagine how I'll prepare my classroom for being away for so long. I barely have enough time now to plan for the following week let alone the following months! Andre and I picked out little Gretel's coming home outfit. It's so bitty! It's hard to believe only about 6 more weeks to go! I have a feeling at this point the time might drag. We got her car seat out and "figured it out." Most parents could get kids in and out with their eyes closed and hands behind their back but for new parents it takes a minute to find the right buttons. I was better at it when I was 11 taking care of my niece Kylie than I am now! I'm sure it won't take long to become second nature.
Baby Denizabeth is on the move still. Her movements are different now, much slower and fluid now that she doesn't have much space. She slides and glides around making my belly take some funny shapes. She can poke, kick and prod in ways that take my breath away. Her piggies are clearly under my right rib and it gets a few good shots a day from those bony feet. She gets hiccups almost daily, she is tolerating them better, not always mobile and feisty when they come like she used to be. She is very good at making her daddy think she behaves because each time I say Andre feel this or look at this, she stops and is still. I have started to take advantage of this and when I'm unable to get her to hold still when I want to try to sleep longer in the morning or fall asleep at night I'll have Andre hold my belly and it works about 80% of the time. It's fun to see his reaction when she doesn't stay still though, he was right on when he said it feels like she is going to pop right out through your skin because that's what it feels like from the inside. It's crazy to me when my hands are on her she won't settle but for him she does, maybe he has the magic touch and will be putting her to sleep for me!!! For the most part I love how active she is. It's one of the neatest things to have someone with you all day everyday, I'm never alone and I love having her wherever I go. When she is quiet I'll rub my belly softly and she'll give me a gentle nudge back letting me know she's still in there doing okay. She responds when I'm reading to my class when I sit still for those few minutes and if I'm wearing a form fitting shirt they look in shock like an alien is coming out of me, I don't blame them, she can make my belly look pretty creepy! I can't wait until she is here, even though I'll never feel completely ready!
Last night I couldn't sleep, she was on the move from 10-11 and by the time she settled I was wide awake. I started to think about all the things I want for her in life. These were a few thoughts...first, I hope she is healthy, I'm doing everything I can to ensure she's growing inside me with all the rest, love, exercise and nutrients she needs, I hope I've done enough. I want her to be a happy person, who can always find the positives in life even when it seems to keep pouring down. I want her free of harm and bullies, I know that's not possible so I hope when she is faced with those troubles she is confident and able to handle herself with pride. I want her to have a sensitive heart and care deeply for others. I want school and learning to be a joy and come naturally for her, I hope she is curious about the world around her and wants to better it in anyway she can. I hope she is driven and when she fails I hope she isn't afraid to get up and try again. I hope she can dance and be herself in front of others, never holding back with fear of what someone else thinks. I admire people who are like that. I want her to be a leader who sets an example by doing. I hope she values her elders and listens to what they have to say and learns from other's experiences old or young. I hope she does the right thing, even when no one is looking. I want her to be a friend to anyone that needs a friend and I hope she loves her family if we're not always perfect. I hope she is passionate and has many hobbies and perfects her talents. I'm still trying to be this person myself and have failed personally at many of the dreams I already have for her. I bet she'll be teaching me as much as I hope I can teach her. I love you little one.
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